Did everyone just…. forget how to create, all of a sudden? Disney pumping out the fourth remake in a row? Movies are like 70% sequels? Stories in games being just bad if they exist at all? Haven’t had a book get hyped in like half a decade? Are we okay? What’s going on?
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Yeah, I know myself. I’ll drag through. Stink of regret and guilt from precious moments thrown away. Too late! You’re over and done!
What am I even waiting for. There’s no up. I know myself. I won’t make it.
Brokeback Mountain gets me every time.
Anonymous asked:
Emotion regulation, negative outlook, etc.
We’re all in hiding haha. It’s not worth the hassel.
500 days of summer was sweet and relevant. I’m surprised I’ve never seen it till now.
drove south to a beach, near dusk. absolutely stunning dream-like landscape. I could live forever in that moment.
Feeling much better today. I think I was just hormonal… we’ll see. It’s beautiful out, I’m gonna drink some wine and go water the landscaping for some hours.
Who am I talking to? Idk I just like imagining that someone’s listening lol. I’m terrible at being alone now which is weird because I used to relish it.
What did I do today? Woke up late and hungover. Wallowed in bed for a bit, stared at the ceiling, then decided I wasn’t going to feel any better and didn’t want to feel any worse so I geared up and went for a hike. Not going to say where because who knows who’s creeping on here! But I went to the Top of the Mountain, whatever that may mean to you. Took a couple hours, felt angry, then cathartic, then good, then sore. I’ll remember to choose less known trails on weekends. Too many beautiful couples out and about lol. Seriously, where are they growing these people!! My endurance is improving though. I was able to fast walk/almost jog the whole way up without stopping!! I miss having someone to talk to… I’ll come across or think of something and go to share it and remember I’m it. Plus Bella has a bf(?) now and is somehow very content being alone anyways so I don’t want to bug her and Jasmine is… idk what our relationship is. I’m watching Gossip Girl Season 6 rn. On my third glass of wine. I only like watching it when drinking because it’s so ridiculous. Hopefully I can pull myself together asap because time hasn’t stopped and I’m not working or going to school or doing anything and it sucks. I know what I want to do, but I need to get off my ass and make it happen. I hope Austin’s ok… he’s probably fine. He has his darkroom and friends and Jimmy Neutron brain haha. I’m sure some cute half-asian girl will be swooning over him soon enough and some rich old person will buy his work for 20k. It sucks being the reason the relationship failed, but knowing him left me a much much better person. I have morals now and am mentally stronger and more knowledgeable of myself and the world around me. But yeah, I hope he’s ok and finds a wonderful partner and the success he deserves. Fuck, I’m gonna miss the sex tho… and his adorably infectious laugh.
I’ve become too political.
